These 3 tips on how to tell your kids about divorce are focused on preparing you for the daunting task of telling your kids about the end of your marriage.
Going through a divorce and dealing with divorce lawyers can be stressful enough without the fear of having to tell your children their lives are about to drastically change. Choosing how and when to tell your kids about a divorce may have a long-lasting impact, so it is often beneficial to take some careful time planning on how you will tell your kids about the divorce.
Tip #1 – Tell Your Children Together
While you and your spouse may disagree on a number of things, it’s usually best to put all disagreements aside for the time being so you can tell your kids about your divorce together. This is usually beneficial for a couple of reasons:
- Consistency – Keeping your explanation about the divorce consistent helps to avoid any confusion which may arise from two different versions of the same story.
- Trust – If one parent tells the kids before the other, the children may feel as if the other parent was withholding information from them. This can feel like a breach of trust to your kids. Telling the kids about your divorce together helps retain trust in both parents.
Tip #2 – Reassure Your Kids it’s Not Their Fault
Children may be quick to blame themselves when you drop the news about a divorce. For this reason, it is often helpful to assure them the divorce had nothing to do with them and they were in no way the cause for the divorce.
Tip #3 – Do Not Blame Each Other
Although you may feel angry with your spouse, blaming them for the divorce may cause more problems and negatively impact your kids. Children may unknowingly perceive themselves as reflections of their parents. When you call your spouse a name, or talk about them in a bad way, your children may feel this is a criticism of themselves.